The feeling of not being in tune with your surroundings is uncomfortable.

It's like being at the children's table when you're in your late twenties. There's a kind of uneasiness that comes over you, like Alice, too big in the too-small house.

And this applies especially to clothing and the level of formality of one's own attire in relation to that of others. And beyond the personal discomfort that this can generate, it's also about showing respect for the ceremony as it was designed, which is to say for the bride and groom.

And that's where it can get sticky.

How exactly was this ceremony designed? Should I do a hand kiss or a kiss?

Sometimes the guest knows what they're going to find and they have plenty of time to prepare a suitable way of introducing themselves, but sometimes they don't know. Let's see, in both cases, how to do it.

How to dress if you are in the unknown

You don't know what you're walking into. Maybe you're even your spouse's +1 at this wedding. In fact, you don't know anyone. In fact, you might even say that you want to go there as much as you want to walk barefoot on a carpet of killer ants.

But as you are a man of your word, you will go. Good for you.

The thing is, you're afraid of being overdressed. Or, even worse, of not being dressed up enough. We understand.

In that case, I have an outfit for you:

The outfit:

A medium grey suit

A light blue shirt (or white like here)

A navy blue silk knit (or grenadine) tie

Black shoes and socks

A sober horizontal white clutch bag.

Why is this the most practical?

If - the horror! -you realise that the wedding is rather casual: get rid of the tie, open a button on the shirt and make the clutch disappear into the depths of your breast pocket.

Relax and have a glass of champagne.

If you want to fine-tune the details, you can always take a pair of brown derbies with you, in your belongings, or in the boot of your car, which can be used to drastically relax the look: you remove the jacket as well as the tie and swap the black shirts for the derbies, to be worn with brown, or blue, or grey socks that you have taken care to bring.

This is an outfit that you can relax with ease.

Feels better already, doesn't it? You can breathe. The children's table is moving away... after all, this wedding isn't going to be that bad.

All right, then.

Now, let's say you know what you're getting into. Pretty much any way. You know some of the people in the audience, so you should see what you can do.